30th Birthday Party

I want to write about my 30^th birthday.  It was described as a milestone.  Some people may see it as such.  Some might look back at memories.  Some might celebrate by having a big party, going for a night out and getting drunk or having some time away with friends.  For me – my birthday isn’t this.  I try to take the opportunity to get my family all together – this year there’s another couple of weeks until we can manage this, so it seems a little separate.  I see that as getting together as a family, rather than it being for my birthday.  There always has been 2 or 3 family birthdays within the same week, so we celebrate all together.

To be honest, today to me is Sunday.  My birthday really doesn’t mean very much.  I said before today that people are welcome to have a drink for me, celebrate remembering it’s my birthday or whatever.  Today, I’m just doing normal Sunday things, and so are my parents.  So I went to church this morning, I’ve had lunch, I’ve caught up on e-mails, my railway gen group work was finished yesterday, and so now I sit ant my computer actually with not much to do.

I was taken out for dinner last night by Grandma, along with my parents.  It was a good meal, but there are always the little aggravations somehow.  It all just felt normal – just very normal.  I had the feeling today would be just like that too.  I don’t have the group of friends to do things with.  I don’t have that sense of a special occasion.  I just have me.  I can’t cope with big things, strange circumstances or too many one-offs anyway.

This morning at church, a series of special things happened.  I knew some people would probably make a bit too much of a fuss out of my birthday, that I would probably be sung at, and whether or not I got the option to be me or not would depend on others.  For the first time in quite some time, I didn’t feel awkward.  Those who wanted to wish me a happy birthday could do so, by coming to me in one corner, without too much fuss.  That’s what happened.  Some people who regularly share hugs with me did so.  There were the usual old people who didn’t believe I am 30, and a few who will just hug and kiss anyone because that’s them.

But there was one very different moment before the service started.  One young lady came up to me, greeted me with a hug, and then sang happy birthday to me for the duration of her hug.  Now anyone who knows me knows that I am quite sensitive in whom I share hugs with, and how I approach people.  This young lady has been someone I have been able to share a hug with since the first time we were introduced in church on Christmas Day a few years ago.  I say this because someone else coming up to me and offering me a hug might freak me out completely!  Anyway, we shared that hug for the duration of her singing happy birthday to me, and it just felt so warm and loving.

Nobody has ever done something like that with me before, let alone a moment that so completely connected with me.  I sense I said thank you at the time, but I sense my thank you was a bit underwhelming after what she shared with me – I’ll do my best to send you an outgoing, bubbly thank you to match the outgoing bubbly hug and song you gave me, but being her way was being typically her, and I guess my underwhelming response was typically me.  Sorry!

We shared an all too brief conversation after that about a couple of things, and one difficult subject of conversation came up – difficult for both of us.  I sense she felt guilty, but I feel like I got a big baseball bat and attacked that difficult subject far, far away (not literally).  Our conversation ended more positively, but all too briefly, as the service started.  The friendly love, warmth and the spark she gave me came out during the service, which she was not able to directly witness at the time.

After the congregation sang happy birthday to me, which was completely ordinary, the service started.  During a time of worship, we were encouraged to share in prayers of thanks and praise.  I started to have a sense that this was my birthday party.  Someone prayed thanks for me and my birthday, and so I prayed.  I can’t bring the prayer word for word, as that was in the moment with the Holy Spirit, but I can bring some idea of what came through me.  I prayed of thanks for my birthday, for sharing my birthday party with my brothers and sisters in Christ, for sharing my birthday as part of God’s party, open to all of us, and gave thanks that God’s party is on all of the time, and not just on my birthday.

It really did feel to me like we were sharing in my birthday party as just a small part of God’s amazing never-ending party as the whole church were in touch with the Holy Spirit.  And the spark came from that most unexpected of moments with an amazing warrior sent by God.

I never got the chance to share what happened with her after the service, but I trust she will read this and know what God called her to do today.  And I pray that my sharing of my birthday party shared as part of God’s amazing never-ending party will touch you.

It won’t be what many people call a party.  It wasn’t a party I was expecting to understand, but my invite was there, and I accepted it.  Will you accept your invite to God’s party?

Amen.